....

my thoughts.

im confused.
confused in many things. in school. my extra curricular. what i really want in life. my friends and my love life. YES, you read it correctly, lovelife. tsk. it confuses me alot. i mean, lets face it, im at a legal age already, a college student, independent (in a way) and matured(?). so whats my point? i just realized that im so alone, no one to share stories with, share laughters and heartaches, share food, share whatever things you wanna share with and so on.. (aside from friends and family ha) in short, im looking for someone who can make me feel special, someone whom i can share whatever stories i have in mind, someone whom i can take pictures with whenever we have a chance, someone whos ready to listen and give advices to me, someone i can make lambing with, someone i can bully, someone i can go out with blah blah blah... actually, having a boyfriend right now isnt really in my mind (no time for it.i guess.haha), all i want is someone who has time for me, who'll always by my side and can make me feel okay whenever im down. tsk. how i wish there's this someone, how i wish he's still here. but i guess not. sometimes life is so unfair and you just have to deal w/ that 'cause thats how life works. i need someone who's willing to wait for me and at the same time does sweet stuff for me.

moving on, im really having a hard time catching up in school because of the classes that i missed this week due to our concert preparation. im having a second thought of continuing my course, most of the time im asking myself if architecture is really for me...tsk. its so effin hard. so hard. the only thing that keeps me staying is my blockmates. and oh, my family as well.

im also planning to quit in sdt right now. frankly speaking, i cant see any family our there. i have nothing against the troupe or something, its just that im really used to a family atmosphere, no seniority, no divisions, no discrimination. im so fed up with the effin seniority thing, its not helping us. tsk.

i have this friend, i wont mention his name and i really dunno what he's up to. he's really nice and one of the closest to me in school. i really dunno what to do nor react, he's been a joker to me since he makes me laugh all the time but recently, he's been somewhat serious on some of his hirits to me. i dunno. it seems that it has double meaning. i dont want to be a feeler naman but shit. i dunno what to do anymore, i dont want our friendship to be ruined 'cause of falling inlove or something. i dont want to break his heart or anything 'cause he's been a part of me too. its just that i just see him as a friend, super close one and i think its up to there only. tssk. and i must admit, i dont want to lose him.

anyway. im missing someone. i dunno why. betteryet forget him nalang, it seems that nothings gonna happen naman. haaaay.